


Secret's Out

by Oona_Queen_of_the_Gay



Series: Web of Fragments [8]
Category: Avalon: Web of Magic - Rachel Roberts
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Gen, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, ambiguous ending, au of my headcanon-o-sphere, baby gay adriane grapples with guilt, because i usually write adriane as bi, flirtmance breakup, it's okay adriane everyone's queer journey is different!!, written April 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oona_Queen_of_the_Gay/pseuds/Oona_Queen_of_the_Gay
Summary: Adriane sets the record straight -- so to speak -- on her relationship with Zach.
Relationships: Adriane/Zach (one-sided)
Series: Web of Fragments [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728790





	Secret's Out

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my awom one-shot anthology "Web of Fragments" on FFN -- because these fics may be old af, but don't deserve to languish on that hellsite for all eternity. Originally written on April 10th, 2011.
> 
> This dates from my last days as a high school baby queer, and looking back I wish I'd focused less on gay!Adriane's misplaced guilt over 'leading on' Zach. On the other hand, that flavor of internalized misogyny is real af. Consider this an artifact, the anxiety-processing of one lgbtq teen in the early 2010s.

They were alone. This was it.

Adriane and Zach stood side-by-side on the balcony of the Aldenmor Mage Academy's tallest tower, silently watching Emily teach a basic healing lesson on the grounds below. They had been waiting for Drake to return from Aquatania, but an incoming storm had grounded him in the Mountains of Glass. Adriane glanced up at the distant peaks, where grey-purple clouds were encroaching on the clear sky. It wouldn't be smart to stay on the balcony for much longer.

Beside her, Zach stared at the ground with a self-conscious effort that told her that he was trying very hard to seem calm and casual.

"Your…your hair looks nice today." As Zach spoke, his shoulder brushed against hers in a way that was supposed to seem accidental. Maybe two years ago, Adriane would've flushed with confused embarrassment. Guys hadn't given her much attention back then, so she hadn't known how to handle it. Now, Zach's attempts at flirting and compliments just soaked her with guilt.

"Thanks, yours too," she said dryly with a smile. "Using that shampoo Kara gave you?"

He laughed. "Yeah. If you like it, the stuff must work."

There she was, leading him on again. It was so cruel. She was worse to give him hope than to finally tell him the truth.

Those words, they pushed on her tongue like a raging river against a dam. It would be easy, so easy, to open the floodgates and let them loose on his ears, but fear of the aftermath kept her lips sealed together against the pressure of her conscience.

Zach was her best friend. She loved him. She couldn't risk losing him.

But she couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

Ominous thunder rumbled in the distance. Normally, she would've thought of every way he could react—angry, sad, betrayed—but now she locked that away far in the back of her mind. She looked Zach straight in his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Of course he was confused.

"I…I can't do this anymore. Zach, I love you and you're so important to me, you don't even know, but I don't…" She closed her eyes and opened them again. Zach held the same puzzled look, and he leaned forward with what seemed to be anticipation. "I don't love you the way you love me. I can't. I just can't."

His face clouded over in the exact way that she'd dreaded. "Why? Is it because I'm not from Earth? Is it that other guy, Joey—" Zach's voice cracked and Adriane resisted the urge to cry or look away from him. She wasn't ashamed of anything but leading him on.

"No! It's not your fault. It's not because of where you're from or how you look or how you act or anything—it's because I like girls. Only girls. You can't change the way you are. Neither can I."

**Author's Note:**

> That's a good place to leave off. Imagine for yourself how Zach reacts to Adriane being a lesbian! Dude was raised by wolves, so he wouldn't be homophobic about it imho. Personally, I think that he'd be supportive but frustrated with himself for not being the kind of friend that she'd feel comfortable telling right away, and frustrated that he still has feeling for someone who's 100% unavailable.
> 
> If a continuation from Zach's POV interests you, let me know!


End file.
